Dear Puss In Boots,

Here is how you stacked up:

- As many cat jokes as possible (they are funny because they are accurate)! +8
- Egg puns +1
- Adorableness +3
- Making gingers look suave +2
- Good voice cast +1
- Cat that goes "Oooohh" several times +1
- Catnip call back +3

Let's see, that is a total of 19 points! Good job. Really funny, but more so for people who have cats I think, which is me!

Love,
A

Dear Chris Gore,

I know that you have been getting flack on the internet lately because of certain happenings at a certain Comic-Con panel. Fortunately, this has nothing to do with that as we are mostly against negativity here! However, I would like to have a chat about DVDuesday. Sometimes I just don't understand why you give awesome things a "Pass." I don't have anything against you personally, it just seems like I never agree with you about things! Okay not never, I was totally on the same page as you in today's segment. Anyway, I just wanted to say that if you are ever going to give something a "Pass" and would like to hear some reasons why it should be at least a "Rent" just let me know. I am available for consultations.

Love,
A

Dear Cowboys & Aliens,

Here is how you scored:

horses +1
grumpy Harrison Ford +2
awesome rest of cast +5
a dog named dog +1
aliens being lassoed +1
Daniel Craig beating on Paul Dano repeatedly +1 (sorry Paul, but it was funny)
horse to spaceship action +1
Jon Favreau = awesome +1

Total score: 13 points!

Love,
A

Dear Makers Of Green Lantern (the movie),

I just wanted to say awesome job on acknowledging the fact that when Green Lantern is wearing his tiny green mask people, especially his sort of lady friend, would still be able to recognize him. I know that it is an upstanding comic book tradition that a small change in appearance equals anonymity, but it was always something I wanted to see taken into account.

Love,
A

Dear Guy Exiting The Theater Behind Me After A Midnight Showing Of Pirates Of The Caribbean Four,

First of all, using the word "retarded" to describe a movie? Really? Come on man, you are better than that. 

Secondly, that is fine if you didn't like the movie (if you hate fun that is your problem), but you really thought it was "boring"? I think there are a lot of things you could say about the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but boring is definitely not one of them. I am sorry if Number Four was too slow or understandable for you after the eight hundred things happening at once in Number Three (I still like you Three, don't worry). However, I do not believe that qualifies it as "boring." 

And last, but not least. Were you so disappointed because you were expecting more? I mean, did you or did you not see the first three movies and enjoy them? And if you didn't, who the heck goes to a midnight showing unless it is a movie they are excited to see?!

Just a few questions I had. See you at POTC5 sir.

Love, 

A